ASK SASSY: 5 Questions for Sassy McButterpants
This week we decided to turn the tables on everyone’s favorite commentor and columnist, Sassy McButterpants. Next week she’ll be back to dishing out advice on questions you send her. That is if you send her any.
Who are you?
Sassy is a drinking, smoking, karaoke singing, girl about town. Though I have been known to show my face in fancy places like Pacific Grill & Stadium Bistro when the happy hour is going or someone else is paying, you’re more likely to find me at the Java Jive, Club Silverstone, PSP, El Guadelajara, or Ida’s. In spite of rumors to contrary (Thanks, Phil!), I am NOT a gay man pretending to be a girl (I wish!), Derek Young’s Feminine side (perish the thought) or Natasha from the Volcano.
What’s with the name? Is it real?
Of course it’s real. So are fairies, Dolly Parton’s upper register, and a comprehensive plan for streetcars in Tacoma. Oh yes. It’s real. And it’s roots shall stay a secret between myself, God, and Antonio Banderas.
Is that you in the picture?
Yes. But those are not my sunglasses and, thanks to the miracle of Photoshop, that is not my nose.
What qualifies you to give relationship/other advice to the Tacoma Populace?
After a decade of life lessons learned (among other places) in the bowels of Tacoma’s finest dive bars- I consider myself a student of human behavior and folly. Not to overshare (do any of you really want to hear another sob story?) Sassy has been around the block a few times. Once a tender young idealistic lady with her head full of dreams, I am now older, wiser, a tad bitter, and ready to help other young ladies and gentlemen avoid the many mistakes I have made in the name of love. While I enjoy socializing with my fabulous friends my ideal Friday night is spent curled up on the couch with my cat, a case of PBR, and a stack of self-help books.
So wait, why are you Exit133.com again?
Honestly, I have no idea. Someday they’ll notice I’m here and kick me out.
Got issues? Sassy will set you straight! Send a question to <txp:dtj_obfuscated_email email="asksassy@exit133.com" />
Filed under: Ask-Sassy
9 comments
O OC Housewife March 14, 2008
Sassy, you should SO write a self help book-people would totally laugh their blues away!
R Robin March 14, 2008
Yeah, Sas, why not? If “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” could be a best seller, I don’t know why “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in a Dive Bar” By Miss Sassy McButterpants couldn’t do just as well. And lets face it, THAT book would be MUCH more relevant to my own life. Honestly, I don’t even remember kindegarten.
A Andrew March 14, 2008
Robin:
In fairness, unless you’re doing it wrong, you shouldn’t remember the times you’re at dive bars, either.
R Robin March 14, 2008
Andrew dahling, a lady of class never admits to that sort of thing ;)
O onbroadway March 15, 2008
I know a Phil who says that about someone… You’re not talking about… uh, “buttermilk-Phil,” are you? Nah.
T tacomachickadee March 15, 2008
Love it. :)
R resortdude March 16, 2008
Sassy,
My apologies for the extended delay in this post. The first time I read you column I laughed so hard I shot coffee out my nose and wrecked my keyboard. That did not do much for my computer but I am breathing better, I may be on to a new allergy treatment. But don’t tell anyone until I lock in the patent….I will be sending you the bill for the keyboard though.
I figure you are legally liable because you did not place a disclaimer at the beginning of the column warning me that the humor I was about to read could be hazardous to my computer.
Now, being a cool dude myself, with a busy life in hip So Cal. Last night I played a gig at a killer bar on the strip (Sunset that is) with my main squeeze then partied until the wee hours with Paris.
This morning I cured my hangover with a mimosa made with Dom. Feeling better now.
I will need to be going soon because I have to work out to keep my six pack kickin….you know the chicks dig a awesome set of abs.
I guess I forgot to mention that my gig was on RockBand,
EZ mode of course,
and I partied with Paris by reading the Pop Tarts section of Fox News.com….but I was with my main squeeze…so it was not all a lie. I mean hey…everyone is cooler on line!
R Robin March 16, 2008
Resortdude,
Do you pose for Calvin Klein and GQ with that set of six packs abs that will blow my mind? And let me guess, you don’t want nothing serious…
You’re so mysterious, Mr. Resortdude.
R resortdude March 16, 2008
Robin,
Yes I fully plagiarized my whole post from a great county tune.
In the interest of full disclosure, since I have been outed, my six pack more resembles a Keg. A keg of PBR to be more specific.
Back to the self help books….