ASK SASSY: Choosing Sides
Dear Sassy,
I have a very close knit group of friends. We are embroiled in a debate that is dividing us at the moment, and we want you to help us lay it to rest. Our friends Dan and Heather, who have been dating for 4 years, have broken up. It was MESSY. Heather is now renting an apartment with another friend in the Stadium area. Dan has been looking and looking and finally found a studio he can afford- next to Heather’s new building.
The question is: Is he allowed to move in next door or is he honor bound to keep looking, even if he has a limited budget.
Sincerely,
Friends in Flux
P.S. If it matters, he broke up with her.
Dear Fluxed Friends,
There’s nothing Sassy enjoys more than the opportunity to settle debates and soothe conflicts emerging in the friendship circle. I’m honored.
Unfortunately, while attempting to formulate an intelligent and helpful response I found myself afflicted with a crippling case of writers block. I know that you blog readers think that this kind of wisdom, depth, and wit comes from an endless fountain- but I assure you this is not the case.
So, I did what I always do when life seems hard and words aren’t flowing freely: I put on my favorite jeans, headed down to one of my favorite haunts, knocked back a couple of PBR’s and warbled out a few ballads. While halfway through belting out “Keep me Hanging On” I realized that I was, in fact, potentially singing Heather’s song:
Why do you keep a comin’ around
Playing with my heart
Why don’t cha get out of my life
And let me make a brand new start
Poor Heather! She struggles through a messy breakup with Dan, finds a friend to move in with, and tries to start over. She’s probably just starting to feel like an individual unit again, and then Dan selfishly decides that what’s best for him is to move in around the corner? Sassy’s not buying it. This young woman is probably still in the phase where she’s listening to, “Every Rose has it’s Thorn” and sobbing into her pillow whilst methodically working through a bottle of Charles Shaw.
Now, I’m hope this won’t start one of those drama and ego fueled Exit133 affordable housing debates, but if there is one thing that Sassy understands it is cheap housing in Tacoma. I know Dan needs an affordable place to live, but Sassy’s seen her share of inexpensive hovels. They are plentiful and abundant in our fair city. This wonderful studio is located just above Ida’s and Puget Sound Pizza, is only $525/month + $50 for all utilities. INCLUDING CABLE! If Sassy is capable of finding this on the internets, hopefully Dan is at least this talented… unless he’s into toying with her like a cat with a mouse. I will close with more Kim Wilde lyrics:
Why don’t cha be a man about it and set me free
Now you don’t care a thing about me
You’re just using me – hey, abusing me
Get out, get out of my life
And let me sleep at night
‘cos you don’t really love me
You just keep me hangin’ on
Love,
Sassy
Recommended Reading: Fabulous Friendship Festival: Loving Wildly, Learning Deeply, Living Fully with Our Friends by Sark
Recommended Listening: Keep Me Hanging On by Kim Wilde
Got issues? Sassy will set you straight! Send a question to <txp:dtj_obfuscated_email email="asksassy@exit133.com" />
Filed under: Ask-Sassy
21 comments
S southsounder April 5, 2008
come on.Even with Dan living across the street Heather is far more likely to cross pathes with a 3 pound cocroach than him.I cant remember the last time I saw my next door nieghbors.And ,Heather, if it becomes to much to take,I would be more than happy to easy your lonely heart ;-) you’ll forget ‘bout Dan in no time at all
J Jake April 5, 2008
It might not be a bad thing. People get lonely. People get tipsy. It happens.
R Robin April 5, 2008
Seriouisly? Friends in Flux, are you SERIOUSLY fighting over this? If this issue divides your friends I would hate to be a part of your friendship circle during the presidential elections.
He dumped her. He needs to find another hovel in another area of town. Duh.
Sassy was right (again)
S southsounder April 5, 2008
well said robin
M Mofo from the Hood April 5, 2008
I forgot about that pop-tart Kim Wilde. The song “Keep me hanging on” was recorded decades before MTV by The Supremes and then Vanilla Fudge and both versions got a lot of radio play.
R resortdude April 5, 2008
Hey Mofo….how old are you man…you are talking ancient history here…. :>)
Tough to argue this one. Sassy nailed it. This guy needs to find digs across town. Otherwise, he is going to have a few too many and be knocking on the door.
M Mofo from the Hood April 6, 2008
resortdude, I’ll be too old when I stop laughing at some of the comments I read on this blog. And also when I stop listening to all kinds of music.
And now that Dan has found an apartment that he can afford, it’s time for Heather and her friend to get the flux out of his way.
R resortdude April 6, 2008
Good post dude…I bet you are great with the ladies.
M Mofo from the Hood April 6, 2008
I can totally understand why Dan wanted to break off from Heather and her fluxed-up friends—-THEY’RE STILL MEDDLING IN HIS BUSINESS.
S southsounder April 6, 2008
if your ex moving in next door is the worst problem you (and your friends) have to deal with,then you must be living a golden life or a very shallow one.so Heather’s not so happy, grow up, it sure isn’t Dan’s job to make her happy.
p.s. MOFO keeps it real again and Heather my offer is still open ;-0
A Aura Mae April 7, 2008
Relationships end. The friends need to mind their own business and the former couple need to lick their wounds in private then move the eff on.
Oh no…your boyfriend dumped you and you still have to see his car drive by…it must hurt so much….
What is this, high school?
Shut up. Quit whining. Get over it.
L Lisa April 7, 2008
I’m surprised by how insensitive some people are being in this post. I can’t say that I’d ever care to have an ex living next door to me, even if things ended amicably, and I don’t think there’s anything immature about that.
I’d also like to point out that if the tables were turned and it was Heather who found an apartment next to Dan’s, she would in all likelihood be labeled a “stalker” or unable to “let go”. I’m just sayin’…
M MsNarcissist April 7, 2008
News Flash! Heather and Dan are not real people. At best, their situation is similar to someone Sassy knows or the situation of a friend of a friend of a friend. Although entertaining, Ask Sassy is a totally fake column with the questions written by Sassy. Have you ever seen the “email your question to Sassy” link? No.
W Whitney staff April 7, 2008
Note from the editor of Sassy:
The omission of the email address this week was my error. It has been fixed. I apologize.
All of the Sassy questions are either inspired by real people and questions (with details changed for privacy) or sent to us. If you have a question please submit it for Sassy’s answers. They are original, unique and sassy.
Thank you for reading the Sassy column.
Whitney
S southsounder April 7, 2008
along the lines of msnarcissist’s comment. I heard that Sassy isn’t even her real name. How about some ethics in journalism people
M Mofo from the Hood April 7, 2008
ALL COMMENTS SUBMITTED BY “MOFO FROM THE HOOD” ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
MFTH
Mofo from the Hood
Copyright 2008
Tacoma WA
S subterranean April 9, 2008
word on the street is that southsounder ain’t even from the south sound! Let’s have some ethics in geography people
R Robin April 9, 2008
Yeah, that’s right, suberranean! And is MoFo really, truly from the Hood???
M Mofo from the Hood April 9, 2008
Robin, do birds fly?
S southsounder April 12, 2008
re:17 unless you live in a cave you shoulndnt throw stones :-)
O OC Housewife April 14, 2008
Just in case anyone wants to know,
I am a housewife AND I do live in the OC.