ASK SASSY: Keep off the Pole
Dear Sassy,
I’m hesitant to ask this, but what is the most humiliating thing you’ve ever done for money? I’m in the midst of a job search right now, and the prospects are not looking good. So far there are only openings to perform at children’s birthday parties in an animal costume or “serve drinks” at a gentleman’s club. I only need a part-time for three months. Should I just suck it up and take whatever job I can get, or wait it out and find a job that won’t result in crying myself to sleep every night?
Jobless and Desperate
Dearest Desperate,
I think this question is on the mind of many college graduates these days, graduating into an economy that may not be so desperate to entice them with fancy, well-paying jobs, with sexy titles. My second ex-husband’s father used to always say, “An honest days work for an honest days pay is never anything to be ashamed of.”
As for the most humiliating thing I’ve done for money? Now that is an insanely long list as I have very little pride indeed when it comes to the green stuff. I will keep in brief and stick to what is G rated…
I have had a series of humiliating jobs in my day including but not limited to:
- Telemarketing. Cold calling. AKA, Annoying the hell out of innocent civilians via telephone for bread money.
- Market Research in the Mall. “Excuse me sir, do you have time to take a survey?”
- My summer job title once was “Human trash compactor” GROSS!
- Waitress on a “Booze Cruise” boats for Northwest tourists. Just try doing that for 3 months without getting your tush pinched.
- Killing, Gutting, and packing trout at a U-Fish Pond
I am of the school of thought that you should do what you love and the money will follow- HOWEVER I also believe that when you really need money the last thing you should be doing is getting all uppity about jobs that bring home the bacon.
That said, I’m not a big fan of serving drinks at the gentlemen’s club. I have a hot cousin with fake chesticles and zero self consciousness who didn’t make it 2 days doing that after the constant pressure to provide “favors” in the VIP Room. I think if you’re going to take off your clothes for money, go big or go home a la Alexandra Dupre. Don’t fool around serving drinks praying someone will tip you big just for handing them a $10.00 Diet Coke.
If you only need a part time job for a few months, Temp Agencies are the way to go. There are dozens in Tacoma offering every type of employment under the rainbow. They give you a typing test, make sure you don’t have any face piercings, felonies, or methamphetamine addictions (and BTW, they don’t always verify) and then they start sending you all over town on jobs that pay between $10-$12/hr. No “drink serving” in dark smoky backrooms necessary.
If you need quick cash in large amounts, check your pride at the door. But if netting a few hundred dollars a week will get you through the summer, I recommend the magical, anecdote-filled world of temp-ing!
Love,
Sassy
Recommended Reading: Candy Girl: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper by Diablo Cody
Recommended Listening: Working for the Weekend by Loverboy
Got issues? Sassy will set you straight! Send a question to <txp:dtj_obfuscated_email email="asksassy@exit133.com" />
Filed under: Ask-Sassy
18 comments
J jamie from thriceallamerican June 25, 2008
I was sure that with an Alexandra Dupre reference, she would make it onto the recommended listening slot…
S Sassy McButterpants June 25, 2008
So true, Jaime, but linking to MySpace can be a bit troublesome and Ms Dupre’s album has not yet dropped.
M Mofo from the Hood June 26, 2008
Keep off the Pole—-Sassy McButterpants.
Stay on the Path—-Pt. Defiance Zoo.
T tom waits June 26, 2008
i try to learn a word a day to expand my horizons and keep mentally active.
i can now add “chesticles” to my lexicon.
thanks, sassy!
O OC Housewife June 27, 2008
Definitely stay away from the Hoochie Mama jobs.
I keep trying to get the word out, there can be good money in babysitting!!!
R Robin June 27, 2008
Jobless and Desperate,
If you want to keep your faith in men, Keep Off The Pole. Attn: Resort Dude, MoFo, Southsounder, et all: This is no direct insult to you. I am sure you are all fine male specimens, etc, etc.
What about dog walking? I hear there is good money in engaging the canine species in calisthenics and scooping up excrement that ensues.
A altered chords June 27, 2008
Chesticles? I can not add this to my lexicon for I know not it’s meaning.
R Robin June 27, 2008
Altered Chords @7,
Seriously, dude? Maybe you should have a heart to heart with Sassy and she can fill you in on the chesticles 411.
Sassy, is that in your job description?
A altered chords June 27, 2008
That might help. All of the images I’m conjuring are very disturbing and may very well result in nightmares.
Wright Park Chalk off?
O OC Housewife June 27, 2008
Yeah, that term kinda freaks me out too, but I’m trying to stay in the know being that I turn 40 this year.
T tom waits June 27, 2008
I hear that in some parts, chesticle “sandwiches” are a delicacy.
apologies and Happy Friday.
O OC Housewife June 28, 2008
Tom, as we used to say in the 80’s, “Gag me with a spoon!” I guess it would be GMWAS in today’s text talk. As if anyone is going to start using that.
Apology accepted and Happy Friday to you too:)
S Squid June 29, 2008
Mmmmmmmm. Sandwiches.
R Robin June 30, 2008
I fear that the whole “sandwich” euphemism is becoming less of a euphemism and more of a direct reference with the additon of ‘chesticles’.
O OC Housewife June 30, 2008
Yeah, Robin, it’s like “Sandwiches Gone Wild” and gives a whole new meaning to a “Club Sandwich”
A altered chords June 30, 2008
I hope IT does not flag this website as “innapropriate”.
T tom waits June 30, 2008
“I accept all of the responsibility, but none of the blame.”
I think the term “sandwich” was becoming somewhat salacious before the term “chesticles” took it to new lows.
“Club sandwich.” Niiiice. Would you like a pickle with that?
Again, so sorry…I can’t help it.
M Mofo from the Hood July 1, 2008
I believe the mercenary magazine “Soldier of Fortune” has featured more than one story on chesticle sandwiches. From what I understand, they’re an exotic delicacy and open-secret aphrodisiac in Indonesia, and amongst Pacific Islanders.