ASK SASSY: Office Space
Dear Sassy,
I hate my coworkers. I’m not kidding. First there’s the lady that wears cat t-shirts, has a sickening number of chotchkys and stuffed animals littering her cubical, who smells funny. Then there’s my micromanaging, anal retentive boss, who I actually like, but mostly want to kill. Finally, there’s my bosses boss- he’s forever staring at my chest, talking about himself, and wasting the company’s money on stupid parties and dinners for himself as we continue to cut low level staff. I stay because it’s a non-profit and I believe in the work.
How can I keep working here without going postal?
Non-Profit Nelly
Dear Nelly,
You believe in the work, huh? Sassy understands. Whether your non-profit employer saves the homeless, supports public television, or finds blood for those without- your story is one I have unfortunately heard before.
Sometimes non-profits are the best place to work! Lots of idealistic, motivated, enthusiastic people who believe in what they do and are excited to change the world. Everyone’s so nice and happy you almost wonder where the qualudes are…
On the other hand, sometimes they are incubators for slackers, dirty old men, schmoozers, and the semi-unemployable. In some places, once you are hired it is almost impossible to get fired. It’s that kind of atmosphere of broken dreams that creates a breading ground for apathy and alchoholic coping mechanisms.
Unfortunately from the tone of your question, it sounds like your office leans towards the latter.
As I see it, you have two choices:
- Become an expert in zen Buddhism, breathing exercises, and stress relieving yoga. Possibly enlist the assistance of a top notch therapist as well. Source Yoga on North 21st will teach you to meditate for $50. After that, you can find your Chi for free at their place once a week. This may not solve all your problems but you might at least be able to avoid resorting to workplace violence.
- Quit your job and find another way to get your public service on. Whoh, Nelly! Did you know if we spend 40 hours of our weeks (at least) at work that is 160 hours per month. That works out to 80 straight days per year spent with the smelly stuffed animal cubicle lady! I’ll bet $50 you’re spending more time with your boss staring at your chest than you are spending time with your friends and loved ones! Eek!
It sounds like you want the work you do everyday to contribute to a larger purpose, which is awesome- but if you’re a frazzled hag from working with these people- it’s not contributing to the greater good. Go out and find the best of both worlds, tiger.
Love,
Sassy
Recommended Reading: Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin
Recommended Listening: She Works Hard for the Money by Donna Summer
Got issues? Sassy will set you straight! Send a question to asksassy@exit133.com
15 comments
S southsounder March 20, 2008
wow Sassy, what completely uninteresting/uninspired advice
you sure phoned this one in.let me guess…. shoe sale, half price appitizers, or perhaps you were the victim of one of those pesky interventions.what ever the cause your advice was definetly not “sassy”. Nelly you need to slap a sexual harassment law suit on your bosses boss. they will settle out of court to avoid imberassment, and beside getting a mountain of money you’ll get to work at home. Or you could file a L&I claim over the non ergonomic chair/key board/desk. or over your “head aches” that only happen at work but have no aprent cause. and in your newly found free time you can save the world how ever you want ;-)
R RR Anderson March 20, 2008
two words: assault rifle
K Kristin March 20, 2008
Hold your tongue. Perform better than your boss and his boss. People will notice. Be cool as a cucumber. Imagine better numbers, larger visions and set your goals to the next level within the organization. Pay no mind to the shortcomings of others, its a distraction to the true goal. Clear it. Your fundamental thought was that you believe in the non-profit. Make it better than you found it, in a smarter, smoother, more productive approach. Soon he will be “let go” and that’s when you can slide in to manage the entity the way it was meant to be. A challenge. You have the passion; execute a plan. You can do it. The success of the non-profit depends upon people like you. This is an opportunity.
R Robin March 21, 2008
Nelly!
Get the HELL out of that gawd-awful, perv infested, TOXIC work environment! (Not, of course, to be confused with Britney’s fab 2003 dance hit ‘Toxic’) You can’t count on people to change and chances are good that the smelly cat lady, like a rancid wine, will become more and more offensive to the old olfacotry senses year after year. As for the bosses’ boss, do creepy old men get less creepy as they age? Nay, Nay, my friend. They only get CREEPIER.
You wanna do something meaninful? Serve at the soup kitchen on Sunday mornings, but don’t give that job any more of your valuable time.
D Dave St. March 21, 2008
Kristin @4.
Thanks for taking the high road. After the fun of my initial answer, I started thinking seriously how I’d answer this. You and summed it up well. Thanks!
Q Quacker March 21, 2008
Ditto Sassy…either become a F*$@ n’ Lotus and smoke out the office with burning incense…only to find yourself bringing in your own stuffed animals to become the stinky, nutty ol’lady at luncheons and functions to come….or…(breath)…start polishing your resume’.
Davest…like the pen idea! Its like The Office, but what changes there, Nelly? Dude, don’t get me wrong I like the show, but thats because its a 1/2 hour and not me. Polish the resume and keep your ear on the rail
O OC Housewife March 23, 2008
Dear Mr. Southsounder, why are you ranking on Ms. McButterpants’ approach on this one? Can she help it if she has sass AND class.
And Nelly, Maybe you should go back to college and become an elementary school teacher. I used to teach first grade and all in all it feels like being in a non-profit organization. And, you get to make the rules. If you say “no stinky stuffed animals at school” then that’s that! Furthermore, little kids would not be lusting after you. They are stinky sometimes and when you hold their hands you may wonder where their sticky little fingers have been. But anyway, if you want to give of yourself to society it’s a good way to go. Or be a nurse, but I hear things can get stinky in that profession as well…
R Robin March 24, 2008
Amen to that, Miss O.C. Nursing can be very, very smelly.
E Erik S March 24, 2008
Dave St @ 3 – LOVE it! Cracked me up. Even if that approach doesn’t fix the behavior of Nelly’s foul coworkers, it will feel good at the time and make for even better memories.
Kristin/Dave St @6 – Don’t forget that this organization is a do-good nonprofit agency. At many such organizations, no-one is “let go” no matter how poor their performance or behavior.
In any case, working on the resume isn’t a bad idea.
R resortdude March 25, 2008
Sassy, I feel you did pretty good on this one and Kristin further elevated the conversation. From personal experience, I have seen many job situations improve because the individual stood up for what is right.
First, tell the boob watcher to stop. Let him know how it makes you feel and that you find it offensive. Document the fact you talked to him and move on. If he continues, tell HR and follow the conversation up with a professional positive letter. There is no place for this type of behavior in the workplace and there are numerous protections available to you if they do not take your concerns seriously. Yes legal action could be an option if the bosses boss does not shape up but it has the best chance for success if based on well founded and documented follow up. Step one is in your court. You need to tell him to stop.
Southsounder is a moron. Nothing personal as I don’t know you but the advice you give is stupid. The course of action you mention is totally selfish and has no intent of improving the situation , you just want her to pad her pockets at the expense of others. Claiming a BS workers comp injury further shows a complete lack of integrity. While I forgive you for your ignorance I would never trust an individual like you. I hope I am wrong and you have had a prosperous professional life…but I doubt it.
Robin and OC Housewife, bring up other good angles. It is true that a tiger does not change their stripes. So you need to pick your battles. Do you work in a positive manner to change this organization or do you punt, move on, and help the world in other ways.
I commend you on you commitment to your fellow man/woman.
Thank you for your service.
Sassy, you forgot one good suggested reading …the Bible.
Keep up the good work.
XOXO,
Resort Dude
S southsounder March 25, 2008
ResortDude,
It’s called being tongue in cheek. I think Sassy knows something about that.
I thought about what Jesus would do in this situation, and I just want to say, Bless you dude.
K Kristin March 25, 2008
Forgive me my . . . shedding light on the “breast” issue. Here goes. Since this dilemma involves office space and staring at women’s breasts I submit the following. Fashion these days is “under the top”. Unfortunate. For while I pretend its easy to dismiss the shortcomings of others, I too fall prey and become distracted (in a pathetic sense, not a sexual sense); its rather hard when cleavage is exposed in the workplace much more than ever. Its distracting and distasteful (not to mention unprofessional). I am all about fashion, heels, nice blouses, suits, texture, fabric, and clean lines (or fine tailoring). Too often I see in my workplace women of all ages showing cleavage, a lot of cleavage. My point is, that we need to reel this fad back in and maintain dignity, professionalism and the aura of mystery (regular shirts which make a man wonder what’s inside) again. Blatant cleavage in the workplace is reminding me that our society has become . . . distasteful. And, on a more important note, the media has a responsibility to show respectful appearance because they have such a huge audience. Its unprecedented (the media and its audience now) so I think we need to show females in a feminine way, without 5-inch line cleavage in the workplace (especially receptionists where you are forced to look down at them and into their shirts). When will that pendulum swing back? Soon I hope. And while I know this provides great fodder for amusement and I would be humored to hear and read it. I am serious in stating that cleavage has become the norm and I think its sad, for our daughters (and our sons who should be schooled in becoming ladies and gentlemen)and for our self worth. Appearance matters in the workplace. Cleavage overflowing on a table at important meetings involving professionals with Doctorates, reeks tacky. What happened to class? Wear your cleaveage on Friday and Saturday nights, not monday mornings. And finally, I will say that breasts are good and fun and beautiful. Just not in the workplace. :)
R Resortdude March 28, 2008
Nice response Southsounder. Good job taking the high road.
I agree with Kristin, I too like breasts. Something about them are, well, shall we say….nice.
Your points are all valid, while I would like to go straight to the gutter and make a lot of MANLY comments about the benefits of cleavage in the workplace (or in general) I must admit that the mystery is much better and a classy well tailored look beats the trailer trash look any day of the week.
K Kristin March 28, 2008
I agree with Southsounder. Indeed you (Southsounder) did take the high road. Claims and claims and more claims are fruitless. Especially when you intend to gain some “mild” capital (funds) from fruitless or expense filled lawsuits (on both sides), compared to the “most” capital you could gain own your own ambition/volition. Tongue and Cheek? Mr. Resort Dude? I submit its a “Cop out” and making others pay, I say. I am appalled by your answer to Sassy and if Southsounder had not voiced his/her opinon, I had intended to. What would your “victim” acquire: pay from the State for a few months . . or perhaps the more viable alternative, pay from her own labor and hard work. Your message is not lost on us who know how the “entitled” aspire, rather than how we should all inspire. Claims against an employer will last only so long if you feel an entitlement to the legitimate resources. To fish and earn your own living will last a lifetime. Make your own way.
K Kristin March 28, 2008
FOR THE RECORD, I meant to say that I do not agree with Southsounder. my reading of the record was off. . . rereading the text and the authors made me realize that I was wrong in who I was supporting . . . My point is against Southsounder saying Nelly should file L&I claims etc. . . these formats are new to me, forgive me my errors. . .