Exit133

October 20, 2008 · Derek

ASK SASSY: Scootin' to the Breadline

Hey Sassy,
With gas prices and everything it seems like everyone is getting a scooter. All my friends either take the bus or moto over to Black Water these days and I feel left out of the loop. Reading about Daniel’s adventures on his scooter just adds to my jealousy. I love longboarding around Tacoma, but I have the cash now and feel like I should take the plunge. My question is whether you suggest getting a Vespa GTS or go with the Aprilia Mojito 150. Also, is Northwest Motor Scooters the best place to go?

Ta,

Moto in Mind

Hello Moto,

Really? Scooters? Are you serious? Doesn’t anybody have REAL problems anymore? Horrible items found in mother’s nightstand? Found your daughters MySpace pictures? Give me something juicy to work with people!

Sassy has been known to have the odd scooter fantasy… Whipping down 9th St with a spunky pony tale and a tiny scarf tied around her neck, Joie de Vivre flying off her like fireworks as she whizzed past Frost Park… The allure of the scooter is certainly understandable- but watch out for the following pitfalls.

  • Make sure you are the appropriate size for your scooter. An extra large feller chuggin’ along on a tiny scooter is simply a mobile representation of a fat guy in a little coat.
  • Assess your lifestyle. Scooters are a known “douchy hipster accoutrement”. A scooter is probably over the line if you have one or more of the following affectations: Smoking, Pitchfork on your Google Reader, a tendency to Twitter about literature, and ironic facial hair.
  • Assess your cashflow. If by some miracle you still have cash lying around after Wall Street’s economic enema, I question the wisdom of blowing your cash on a brand new scooter. The proverbial sky is falling and you might need to use your money to buy Monarch Vodka and Soylent Green just to stay alive.
  • Weather Advisory. Also, in a state that is rain soaked 140 days a year, you’ll be scooting around wrapped up like a human condom 7 months out of the year. Have a backup plan. Like a car. Or your feet.

If you own some sort of waterproof getup and feel truly compelled to emulate Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday- I recommend buying a nice used scooter for $2,000 and setting aside a mechanic fund of $500. According to my research the Vespa GTS starts at about $6,000 and the Aprilia Mojito 150 costs around $4,000. As always, my advice is to check Craigslist. If you want to stimulate the local economy though, NW Motor Scooters is the place to go.

My advice is to take your remaining cash, hunker down in the fetal position with a bottle of homemade hooch, and pray to god that in four years we aren’t in a breadline praying that President Palin and Vice President Cheney are just kidding about invading China.

Love,
Sassy

Recommended Reading: Scooter Bible: From Cushman to Vespa,the Ultimate History and Buyer’s Guide by Eric Dregni and Michael Dregni

Recommended Listening: Patriarch on a Vespa by Metric

Got issues? Sassy will set you straight! Send a question to asksassy@exit133.com

8 comments

  • drizell October 20, 2008

    Sassy,

    I’m not sure where you’re getting your numbers, but I’ve never seen a scooter priced for more than about $2000. There’s a dealer about 3 blocks from my house that sells ‘em for about $1200 to $1500 apiece. Not sure if they’re Vestas though.

    My opinion is that you should just invest in a good bicycle. They’ll never go out of style and they’re adored by hipsters everywhere. And you’ll actually stay in shape, as opposed to gaining 30 pounds within the first two weeks of owning a scooter.

  • justin camarata October 20, 2008

    i can vouch for nw motor scooters. i had to have a part replaced on my piaggio fly 50 (a great starter bike, BTW – http://www.piaggiousa.com/pScooters/FLY50.cfm) and they were outstanding. their manager personally called me to apologize for a delay they encountered and covered part of the cost as compensation. they’ve also got reasonable prices on accessories. they’re an excellent company that deals with an excellent product, and i’d recommend them without hesitation.
    good luck!

  • Thorax O'Tool October 21, 2008

    My Suggestion:

    If it ain’t a hog, it ain’t worth riding.

  • OC Housewife October 22, 2008

    Altered Chords, help! I’m having a terminology crisis! When did we start calling a moped, a scooter? I was reading the letter and Sassy’s witty reply and I started seeing numbers like $2,000. I thought, “these are very special scooters!” At first I was picturing the metal ones I trip on in my back yard that my kids ride, like the Razor etc., which goes on sale for $20 from time to time. My kids enjoy the ride very much but find the helmets I require cumbersome.

    Suggested movie: Reign Over Me with Adam Sandler. He rides the very coolest motorized scooter and it’s a lovely movie.

  • altered chords October 23, 2008

    OC – I am very sorry. I can not help. Music, telecommunications, beer…these are my areas of expertise.

    I hear your cry for help but I am not in a position to do so at this time.

  • Robin October 24, 2008

    Drizzle @1,

    I’m with you, homes. A bicycle is THE way to go. Bicycles are, in fact, SO fabulous that one of the all time great rock bands dedicated an entire song in praise of their riding glory. To my knowledge, there has been no such song dedicated to motor scootering.

    And I leave you all with a lovely quote about bicycles:

    “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.”
    H.G. Wells

  • Thorax O'Tool October 24, 2008

    Bicycle.. bicycle… bicycle!
    I want to ride my bicycle! bicycle! bicycle!
    I want to ride my bicycle
    I want to ride my bike
    I want to ride my bicycle
    I want to ride my
    Bicycle races are coming your way
    So forget all your duties oh yeah!

  • Robin October 24, 2008

    Mr. O’Tool @ 7,

    Whoop, Whoop!