ASK SASSY: The Exotic Other
Dear Sassy,
I’ve met this gorgeous woman, we’ve been on a couple dates, and I could really see this relationship going somewhere. The problem is that we have polar opposite political views. I am what you’d call a tree-hugging liberal while my potential girlfriend is a Reagan-loving conservative. We get along in every other aspect – and I mean every aspect. Should I worry about future arguments over our conflicting political views or ignore our differences to pursue this relationship?
Liberal in Love
Dear Loving Liberal,
Once upon a time, (the nineties) in a land far, far away (Puyallup) a young girl was being raised on Rush Limbaugh and Family Values with the best intentions by a large extended family of people who to this day believe in trickle-down-economics, military might, and above all private health care.
Whether it was the crowd she ran with, massive amounts of NPR, or a couple of particularly persuasive dalliances with gentlemen of the liberal persuasion, Sassy’s blood slowly changed from Red to Blue somewhere in the early part of the new millennium.
Should a tree-hugging liberal and Reagan-loving conservative pursue a relationship that works in every aspect? Let’s break this down:
Pros:
- As far as I’m concerned, we need more inter-political fornication.
- It’s hot. A buddy of mine hooked up with a republican girl he met at The Monsoon Room and he said it was hot to sleep with the enemy. Or as he put it the “Exotic Other”. One minute they’d be arguing at dinner about whether Christine Gregoire was a tax and spend liberal and the next minute they’d be sprawled out on the dining room table half way to second base.
- It’s good for America! My grandparents get their news from 570 KVI & Fox News, while my hip, liberal, friends get their news from NPR and the Daily Show. It doesn’t do us good to always hear things the way we want to hear them, find out how the other half thinks!
Cons:
- Your parents and friends might not always get along. You may need to color code your place settings at family get togethers..
- If you get along REALLY well and get married and have babies you will have to decide how to raise them… Perhaps toy donkeys AND toy elephants? Open dialog around the dinner table? Monday nights watch Bill O’Reilly as a family, Friday nights watch Real Time with Bill Maher, and the rest of the week play Rock Band or something…?
- You wouldn’t want your desire to fornicate to be dependent on the country’s political atmosphere. God forbid we all start getting along!
Bottom line? Love conquers all, (as long as it’s a robust, survive-a-house-remodel kind of love). If James Carville & Mary Matalin can make a go of it, than you certainly can…and maybe a Julie Anderson / Robert Hill romance isn’t far behind.
Love,
Sassy
Recommended Reading: Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict by Jonathan Robinson
Recommended Listening: Love to Hate You by Erasure
Filed under: Ask-Sassy, Ask-Sassy
18 comments
W working class hero August 7, 2008
Ronald Reagan was a liberal before Nancy converted him.
That said, the fact that this is a potential deal breaker and your writing to an advice guru for help makes me think that you are most likely unaware that you are indeed gay. Which might be more probematic to a relationship than the political issue.
R rick August 7, 2008
Dear Sassy:
Oh, how I’ve missed you!
Dear Liberal in Love:
Run! There is no amount of brilliant sex and love that would offset any amount of O’Reilly.
S Steven August 7, 2008
LIL,
A kite won’t fly without tension, or to quote Voltaire:
The Passions are the winds that fill the sails of the ship. It is true they may sometimes overturn her, but without them, she could not go.
Go and love that red gal of yours…
Steven
M Mofo from the Hood August 8, 2008
Deal with the situation Tacoma style:
Find ‘em, F ‘em, Forget ‘em.
O OC Housewife August 8, 2008
If you are defined by your political affiliation you are a boring and difficult person to be around whether blue or red. If you are defined more by the positive qualities that make you a cool and fun person to be around it doesn’t matter so much what your political views are. Maybe that over simplifies things, but it’s a good start I think.
A altered chords August 8, 2008
LIL – There is way more to life than politics. I sincerely hope that you find many other issues on which you hold differing views.
Life would be very boring if we only had relationships with clones of ourselves.
If you believe that the labels “liberal” or “conservative” encompass all of those other things, then you have overgeneralized and removed individuality from your perspective.
But, elimination of individuality may in fact be part of the liberal agenda.
R Robin August 10, 2008
Re: Comment #4
Is that how we roll in the PNW? Wow, I was TOTALLY out of the loop on love, Tacoma style. I have some serious catching up to do. Here I had found a nice boy and settled into a monogamous relationship and thought it was alright :-)
Well folks, I gotta go. I’ve got some lovin’ on the run to catch up on.
S Squid August 11, 2008
LiL, as the french would say, vive la difference. Who knows? Pursuing said relationship could even result in some “experimenting” on your part that you may find stimulating. For example, cross-voting. In the privacy of a voting booth I, a card-carrying member of the ACLU, have on occasion actually pulled the lever of the other party…and it was HOT! You might give it a whirl. Just be sure to practice at home in front the mirror. One imagines various other scenarios, like including your partner, where you vote for hers if she’ll vote for yours. Yum.
As for Sassy’s Julie Anderson/Traveller Hill deal mentioned above, that is just sick and wrong. Which in my book makes it SO right.
N North End CJ August 11, 2008
There are conservative women in T-Town?! Sassy… can you put together some kind of conservative singles mixer? I’m guessing a table for 4 would be sufficient.
A altered chords August 11, 2008
I’m a conservative single man. I would not be interested in a conservatives singles mixer. I only date liberal ladies.
C CA August 12, 2008
I’m a conservative fella who’s never dated a conservative girl. I dont want my ladyfriend to agree with, or parrot, everything I say and believe. That’s just boring. Bitching about the mid-terms and arguing over Supreme Court decisions is great fun, especially for two politically aware mates.
S subterranean August 12, 2008
Sassy, perhaps you should dole out some recommendations for local liberal/conservative, republican/democrat hangouts for those folks who are interested in meeting some “exotic others.” And let’s give some love to the libertarians and paultards
L liblibby August 14, 2008
I am liberal girl- and for the past five years have had a republican boyfriend. Sometimes it gets pretty hard-because politics have different trains of moral thought.Mostly I am embarrassed by it when around my family- he knows not to say anything or else they will believe he has zero intelligence. But I enjoy the healthy debates and of course it keeps chemistry up!
J J. Cote August 14, 2008
FYI: Some hard-corp Liberals (must have been tear gassed at an RNC Convention) believe that Sir Ronald Ray-Gun was actually a second cousin to Howdy Doody. With his wooden body movements and Nancy’s hand up his ass pulling the string that controlled his lips, it’s hard not to see why.
Liberal/Cons. mating is a good thing. If we can’t beat ‘em, we’ll breed them out!
W working class hero August 14, 2008
RE #7 Robin, I’m not sure i can support your new political platform, as i can assure you it is fiscally irresponsable to say the least ;-)
R Robin August 15, 2008
Mr. Hero of the Working Class,
Fiscal irresponsibility be damned. I’ve got some wild love to sow, straight up Tacoma style!
I do appreciate your thoughtful words of warning, though. V. kind.
D Daniel Blue August 15, 2008
I dislike anything red,
except communism. i like red commies.
and i like ketchup, and lipstick, and fire….
hmmm….
and apples, apples and blood oranges.
but momma said red is the color of the devil….
growing up in a house with a liberal mother and a conservative father is enough to scare a kid out of voting.
O OC Housewife August 18, 2008
Daniel at #17
Do you like the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I sang one of their songs on Rock Band last night and it was so fun. It was the first time I’ve heard it. It was something like Hey Ho or White Snow.