November 10, 2006 ·

Bottling Tacoma - CK Announces Taroma

In a surprise announcement this morning, Calvin Klein revealed the newest fragrance to be released by the fashion designer: Taroma CK. The name is a “portmanteau word” of Tacoma and aroma.

Unlike popular CK One, a product considered to be a unisex fragrance, Taroma will be marketed exclusively to men. “So many middle-class American men work the daily grind at an office that they’ve lost touch,” said Klein. “Taroma CK gives these men the opportunity to come home and feel like they’ve just put in a long day on the construction site.”

Speaking at a press conference in Tacoma, Klein announced the new fragrance had “a robust masculine scent.” The scent is practically indescribable, with vague whiffs of sweat, sulfur, and smog mixed in with a general smoky residue.

Calvin Klein announced the product on the Tacoma tideflats at the new Taroma CK factory. A tour of the facility revealed little hardware, however. The open-aired facility is designed to allow workers to easily bag air samples rich with the Tacoma aroma in large Zip-Loc sacks that are then compressed into the branded Taroma bottles.

Klein expected sales of Taroma CK to do well around the world, even in Tacoma. “The way I see it, the whole city used to wear the scent,” said Klein. “But since the cleanup of the paper mills, the scent has become so diffuse people rarely smell it in Tacoma. Concentrating the Tacoma aroma and bottling the scent will be like stepping back in time for locals. Taroma CK will bring back fond memories of necking with high school sweethearts and swooning over the Beatles. It’s like we’re bottling nostalgia.”

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.

6 comments

  • altered Chords February 28, 2009

    Doyle’s on St. Patrick’s day? Gee I wonder if anyone will be there?

  • Heather March 1, 2009

    St Pat’s Day is the next Tuesday, the 17th.

  • Thorax O'Tool March 1, 2009

    I won’t be there because beer in any form is nasty.

    That and I’d rather eat my corned beef with my family.

  • crenshaw sepulveda March 1, 2009

    I really couldn’t imagine Doyle’s hosting a Love Tacoma event on St. Patrick’s day.

  • altered Chords March 2, 2009

    Apparently my calendar is as altered as the chords I play.

  • You're Welcome March 12, 2009

    O’Tool, try the cider!

    I luvs Doyle’s. Cheers to our taxes going up in this time of economic bliss! (I need a shot of Whiskey).