January 4, 2008 · · archive: txp/article

Crystal Ball: Exit133 Predictions for 2008

4 days into 2008, we’ve made our predictions for the next 362 days of the year.

Looking back over our predictions for 2007 we found we hit some things on the head and missed others completely. Ah well.

So here’s our list of predictions for 2008. Feel free to add some of your own.

Tacoma Changes Its Name to Russell, WA
Do you like us now?

Clear Channel Saves Murray Morgan Bridge
Tacoma brokers deal. Tells Clear Channel, “Save the Bridge, Save your billboards.”

The News Tribune Goes Mobile
Every TNT reporter loses their desk following the success of “Word on the Street” reporter Scott Fontaine. Capers, Meconi’s, and Suite133 sales boom!

North Shore Developers Build New Golf Course
Developers decide golf courses are cool. Buy all the houses in Northeast Tacoma to build another one. Residents still unhappy.

Tribune Starts New Blogs
Topics include dog walking, urban spelunking, and a Daily Photo from Tollefson Plaza.

Gnomes for Cones
The Museum of Glass finds itself inundated with woodland creatures after its cone is featured in Retired Gnome Monthly.

Sitecrafting Goes Blogging
Gives up designing websites. Decides to focus on its growing business of employing bloggers.

Grocery Store Rumored for Downtown
According to our sister’s friend’s father’s cousin’s hairdresser, there’s a grocery store coming. And that’s a fact.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.

Filed under: Satire-and-Spoof

4 comments

  • Mofo from the Hood January 5, 2008

    Eric B. Parking Lot Photo Collection Surpasses KF.Net Personal Family History Photo Collection Estimated At 10,000 Plus Photos (Jan. 2008).

  • tacomagnome January 5, 2008

    I guess the wrong e-mail was sent out, the plan is to convene on Tollefson Square at a single time in 2008.

    Details are being worked out at this time.

    You have been warned.

    Until Next Time,
    TG

  • drizell January 5, 2008

    I bet the NIMBYs in Northeast Tacoma would be opposed to just about anything you try to build there. They might as well take their suburban mentalities and get Federal Way to annex them to save the rest of us Tacomans a lot of grief.

  • southsounder January 6, 2008

    recent transplants from bellvue start openly lamenting the death of “the real Tacoma” and it’s subsiquent gentrification.