DB: Craig's Crap

Auctions, I found out this week, are very entertaining events. I have been writing a lot about Steve Craig lately, starting about 10 weeks ago here, when I wrote him a yougooglie. While I am tired of writing about Steve, there is really just so much to tell.

The living quarters of this man are truly legendary. I watched Alan Gorshe auction off half of it on Monday, and the rest of it goes up for sale next Monday (the 28th) at 9 am.

Here are some tips about being at an auction.

1. Go register right away and get a number. You will get in trouble for bidding with your hands.
2. Wait for it. Go early and know what it is you are aiming to buy. Stuff is happening so fast…so so so fast, that its hard to know that you missed out on the portable gas stove because you were trying to get Julie Bennett to bid for you because you didn’t register and get a number even though you could have when you walked in a half and hour late. The sucker who got the gas stove that no one else was bidding on for $5 doesn’t even really want it.
3. Learn the terms. Choice means that the four things that the people are holding up are bid per item, that means if you want the art deco lamp and the book and you win the bid at $25 you pay $50. One money means that the bid you are bidding is for the whole group. It seems like a trick but they do it to keep the auction moving a little faster. We were there for 6 hours today anyway, and that was only half of Steve’s crap.
4. Stick around. Near the end of the auction, all the high rollers like that woman only known as “69”, are burnt out or out of money. The soda fountain and two cigarette vending machines went for $60 a piece, because there was no one left to bid. 6 rugs for $20!!! WTF?
5. Do not get hypnotized by the auctioneer. Counting by fives, “ten, fifteen, can I get twenty, twenty-five, thirty, thirty five…”, mixed with the pointing and flapping of papers, can be mind bending. Let yourself breathe. The guitar maniac’s owner and I entertained ourselves by looking in the rear drawers of a display case that Julie Bennett bought for $25, we found a box of tubes for old amplifiers and a magazine about LSD. But then we almost missed the bidding on the orange crush clock that was running backwards.
6. Bring a snack. 6 hours really puts a dip in the blood sugar, unless you can eat muffins. They had muffins for sale. I can’t eat muffins. I can’t eat sugar or wheat.
7. Corina Bakery and Bistro is going to offer wheat and sugar free items. Now that is deliverance.

Today, my highpoint was watching the Tacoma Public Library man win the bid on an old Tacoma Water and Power ledger. He was really aggressive about it, just standing resolute with his number held high as if to say, “go ahead, challenge my bid, I’m winning this one no matter how much you make me pay.”

If things next Monday go about the same speed as they did today, I would not be surprised if there is a third auction, it is really surreal how much old stuff was in this mans keep.