DB: Totally Insane

I’m currently recording an album out in the ritzy lakeside suburbs of Federal Way. A wonderful friend of mine has nurtured his two sons musical talents and they now are operating on a professional level as artists and producers. Transforming one of the now married son’s bedroom into a pocket studio, we have spent the past three or so months sculpting music and watching the algae grow in the pool off the deck in the back.

Growing up in the poorer version of the suburbs previous to hoveling myself into the Tacoma urban landscape lends an interesting charm to the similarities and differences present in the American experience. I am continually astonished by the drastically different marketing targeted at this seemingly money laden demographic.

A large screen television stands ominously ever on in a step down room off of the dining/kitchen area. Sometimes during breaks between tracking, I catch commercial tidbits that are so far out of my demographic position, that I almost feel voyeuristic or as if I was not meant to have access to such a classy broadcast. The current most shocking of these is from “the people of the oil and natural gas industry.” I think it is a subversive cry for help.

(To watch the ad click here and watch the one titled “Future”)

First of all they have a blond cylon as a spokesperson, dressed her all black business ensemble promising me that together we can secure America’s energy future. She tells me that we have enough gas right here in America (with some changes to policy?) to power 60 million cars for the next 60 years. I followed the link to energytomorrow.org and read that every day the gas company delivers 382 million gallons of gasoline to service stations enabling 200 million drivers to go about their business. So what about the other 140 million drivers for the next 60 years? And are they really assuming that 60 years worth of children turning in to drivers isn’t going to affect their math? And what about the 67 million gallons they deliver to airport terminals every day?

I think that perhaps my urban, Kunstler influenced gasoline worldview is effecting my ability to understand the purpose for this commercial. It sounds like a maniacal last ditch effort to keep people from being conservative with their driving. How can they say we will need 45% more energy by 2030 and then say we have enough gas for a third of our current drivers until 2068? THAT’S MAKE NOT SENSE NOW TIME!! Has American propaganda stooped so low as to simply attempt confusion? Is downtown Tacoma so progressive that I have been disillusioned just by hanging out in my community? In light of my current grasp on the situation, this commercial is totally insane.

At this point, I’m convinced that there was a board meeting where in the depressing light of the FACTS, the “people of the natural gas and oil industry” sat gloomily around a massive black marble table trying to keep their sweaty palms from leaving residue on the shiny surface. The dooming silence was broken from behind a cloud of acrid cigar smoke as the fattest of cats realized the perfect way to keep American suburbanites from changing their lifestyles and finding work closer to home or trading their f-650 in for a moped: “just tell them the truth,” his husky voice says unnaturally gurgling between laughs. “Do it in a way that makes it sound like there is nothing to be afraid of. HAHAHAhahahahahaha.” The board room slowly gained comprehension one haggard member at a time, erupting incrementally into fits of maniacal laughter of their own. “Someone call Wall Mart, everything is back to normal!” All accept Janice Crawford, no one notices as she quietly excuses herself and plunges to her death from the executive bathroom window and her robot parts explode into 60 million pieces on the highway below. One for every driver privileged enough to keep commuting for the next 60 years.

“From our livelihoods to our lifestyles, the oil and natural gas industry improves the lives of Americans every day.” – energytomorrow.org

Well, riding my bike has sufficiently increased the quality of my lifestyle. And I see more and more urban peddlers out there braving the steeps of our southern numbered streets. My friend Sam just traded his Subaru in for a Yamaha, and my generous friend in Federal Way is selling that house to move downtown. Here’s to finding the guts to improve our own lives, however, my gas was off for a few months this winter, and it sucked. I hope that I get to be in the 160 million homes that gets to keep its gas on, anyone know how to be in the “in” club?