Downtown Tacoma Gets High Speed Chairlifts

Banking on the recent turn of the weather, Boyne USA, owners of Crystal Mountain leased 9th, 11th, 13th, and 15th Streets from the City of Tacoma to create the first urban ski resort in the world. The company’s lease of the streets will begin Thanksgiving weekend every year and run through February 28.

The new ski resort—dubbed Mount Tahoma—will make use of the steep incline of downtown Tacoma to create short runs with a variety of terrain for skiers and snowboarders alike. Boyne USA is counting on the changing weather patterns related to global warming to turn Tacoma into a winter paradise. But just in case there’s not enough natural snow to fill the streets, the company will install snow machines on the roofs of all buildings facing the new runs.

In addition to the natural topography of downtown Tacoma, Boyne USA also cited urban redevelopment as a major reason they decided to locate their next resort in Tacoma, including synergy with the Convention Center and Tacoma’s new hotels. In a prepared statement, Boyne USA, writes, “The novelty of the first urban winter sports playground will make Mount Tahoma a huge draw from around the world. We predict a huge boost in tourism.” Seattle-based John Kircher, owner of Boyne USA, suggested that Seattle-ites might finally have a reason to come to Tacoma for the weekend.

Prium, developers of the Winthrop Hotel, were re-branding the classic hotel as a ski lodge, with ski-in/ski-out service. The low-income housing currently in the Winthrop would still be relocated to the hilltop neighborhood, though now the district would be called the Tahoma Summit (or just The Summit for short).

All streets in the downtown area will be closed to traffic during the winter ski season, but Boyne USA stressed that lift tickets for commuters would be competitively priced with season ticket options available.

News analysts speculated Friday that after difficult negotiating with the US Forest Service about expansions at their Crystal Mountain property, Boyne USA was ready to look at other options in the region without the same environmental restrictions. The company framed the move around another issue, however: climate change. “With global warming changing weather patterns in our region in such dramatic ways, Tacoma’s new weather might give this new resort some of the best snow west of the Rockies. If Wednesday’s snowfall was any indication, we have some great potential.”

In a related story, the Federal Way School Board voted 3-0 that discussion in the classroom about turning downtown Tacoma into a ski resort should be “fair and balanced” and present other reasons besides global warming that might explain why Tacoma now has enough snow to host a ski resort. Reasons like … oh, let’s say, hippies.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.