Mr. Toucan's Tiniest Tot

So that headline makes no sense.

But we at Exit133 are exercising our freedom of speech to write silly silly nonsense whenever we please.

This is in full support of our corporate overlord Clear Channel, whose new billboard campaign shows how important free speech is by utterly wasting it. They are saying, in effect, “Speech is so important that when we actually have a chance to exercise it on 193 billboards, we’re going to use that opportunity to spout off with a vague and vacuous slogan.”

The problem that we see is that they didn’t go far enough! Why stop with “Constitutions Matter?” Why not go even vaguer? More vacuous-ness!

With that in mind we have assembled a proposal for some new billboards for Clear Channel that should be even more eye-catching than the current slogan.

But we didn’t want them to have to do much re-printing, so we’ve just mixed up the letters of “Constitutions Matter” into some new messages that will work just as well, we think.

The Current Campaign

Our Proposals

Who is his tiniest tot, we wonder.

I think we should stone them, too. Stupid artistic sheep.

Paging RR. Paging RR. It’s your time.

Erotica does what now?

Poor Tom.

Intricate mottos do stun. This is, of course, what Clear Channel must have been driving at the whole time.

Who knew how many good words were in that billboard campaign? After this much fun with Scrabble tiles, we’ve decided to compete in the next Scrabble tournament. See you there.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.