One Guy Just Doesn’t Care

It’s been one of those weeks where you can really feel the love in Tacoma. Daniel Blue professed it in poetry; Love Tacoma came together to celebrate her; and some cool trains are headed her way.

But does everyone really love Tacoma? A recent survey revealed some interesting statistics about how Tacoma residents feel about their city. Of the 199,600 residents of Tacoma:

122,386 absolutely hands-down love Tacoma.

77,213 don’t like Tacoma, would rather be in Seattle, but can’t afford it or are too apathetic to move.

1 is totally and utterly indifferent to the city. His name is Greg Severson, age 29.  Exit133 managed to track him down Thursday.

Exit133: So you don’t like Tacoma.

Greg Severson: S’ok, I guess.

But it’s not awful?

It’s not bad. I mean, I don’t dis like Tacoma.

You just …

Don’t see what all the fuss is about, either.

Now most of the city, 61% of us anyway, love Tacoma, but 38% of the city hasn’t come around yet and would rather live in Seattle. But 0.0001% of the population—i.e., you, Greg Severson—don’t care.

I’ll tell you a story. I went to the Love Tacoma night on Tuesday. I thought it was going to be a singles party and that I’d get some love from the ladies, you know? Like the name promised. But I got there and they were all “Oh, Tacoma, I love you! You’re so dreamy!” And they had no love left to give the Greg-meister because they were so into Tacoma.

So I was like, forget that. And I went to a party the next night that was entirely filled with people who would rather be in Seattle. I thought I’d have better luck. So I started talking up this pretty blonde and she was like “Oh, I only date men who live in Seattle. That’s the only way I’m going to get out of this one horse town.”

I guess I see your problem.

Next week I’ll be unveiling IndifferentTacoma.com for people like me who just. don’t. care.

But, Greg, there are no other people like you. That’s what the survey said. Some of us believe Tacoma is a great place with real potential, others of us believe she’ll always be living in Seattle’s shadow, and you believe—what do you believe?

I believe Tacoma … exists. Tacoma is a city, that’s what I believe. Tacoma is. I don’t think I’d want to get any more specific than that.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.