Tacoma is Really Romantic
Since first reading the news that Tacoma was named “most romantic city” on Yelp.com (story here), I’ve been contemplating what such a thing could mean. Because the designation was based upon volume of romance-themed queries, we are lead to believe that Tacomans yearn insistently for the indefinable, impractical breathless head rush of interpersonal connection. Those crystalline moments of complete affectionate immersion are sustained and accelerated by numerous environmental factors – a quiet room, wavering light, sensuous scents, expensive food, towering waterfalls, hidden lagoons and (for Tacomans) Yelp.com.
Some might say a social consumer review website is not an adequate gauge of romance. But when you search your lover’s eyes for a hint of the unknowable hidden behind their sparkling irises, it is very much the same as typing “See’s Candy” into the search bar at Yelp.com. Perhaps your faltering hands feel inadequate to convey or contain the passion in your caresses. This feeling is quite akin to the deep sense of need that might lead you to read the personal experiences of others at Adriatic Grill. Is it good? It looks “chainy”. I don’t know! Appearances can be deceiving – maybe it’s super-cute on the inside. You go back and forth. You’re delightfully confused. Your options seem unlimited. You’re torn. Then, upon seeing four dainty orange stars, you are made exhilaratingly whole.
The rush of the consumer review is undeniable. To sit down at a computer after dining to write a review of the restaurant gives one a sharp sense of being fully “in the moment”. Sometimes, romance can do the same thing. That is why Tacoma turns to Yelp.com for romance. And Yelp.com delivers romance, so we go back for more of that for which we thirst. The link between Tacoman romance and Yelp.com is deeply embedded in my mind. I cannot think of one without resorting to the other.
So, those who seek the secret of Tacoma’s romance search in vain if they seek it in our glimmering port. They will not find it in our skyline huddled beneath a formidable hill and a pall of shapeless clouds. The source of our ardor cannot be discovered on our towering bridges or in our rich history. As we all now know, it is found at Yelp.com.
*Editor’s Note: Though it may appear that this article was sponsored by Yelp.com, it was not in fact sponsored by Yelp.com.
NEXT WEEK
Top 10 Places To Make Out in Tacoma!
AND
Exit133 Answers Your Love Questions!
Filed under: Tacoma, Awards & Recognition
8 comments
D Daniel February 11, 2011
My next story is going to be “Exit133 Gives Holistic Forge Works Some Kind of Self-Serving Distinction”. Get your news here! Buy now! Invest!
P Published Author RR Anderson February 11, 2011
I kid I kid!
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Visit Yelp.com for the best deals!
J jamie from thriceallamerican February 11, 2011
The funniest part of the disclaimer is that none of the Yelp.com links actually work (missing a colon, so it’s looking for a nonexistent path on Exit133…)
P Published Author RR Anderson February 11, 2011
the 404 page is full of win. :)
D Daniel February 11, 2011
i considered fixing the link, but decided it was more pointless and funny as a bad link. I just wanted to add to the heap of free advertising Yelp has gotten from journalists this week.
P Published Author RR Anderson February 11, 2011
This has to be the first piece of consumer review erotic fan fiction though. Trailblazer!
P Published Author RR Anderson February 11, 2011
Whatever happened to McButterpant’s love column anyway?
T Tacoma Joe February 14, 2011
This is all such distracting fluff… didn’t anybody watch last Tuesday’s council meeting? There were some significant issues covered especially in Citizen Forum comments. Why wasn’t that meeting covered on this site, as usual? I seriously want to know why it was skipped when other, silly, things WERE posted that night instead.