Tacoma to Portland: Let Us In!

After years of looking to Portland as a model for Tacoma, the Tacoma City Council finally decided that it would be easier to just join the Rose City rather than try to copy everything they do. At a special Thursday meeting, the Council voted 9-0 to ask Portland to annex them.

If the request is accepted, Portland’s total population would increase to approximately 750,000.

The motion to discuss the proposal was made by Deputy Mayor Mike Lonergan and seconded by Councilman Jake Fey. Speaking of his decision to become part of Portland, Lonergan said, “My son asked me, ‘If you love Portland so much, why don’t you just marry them?’ Of course he was kidding. But I thought it sounded like pretty good advice.” Said Fey, “This seemed like the best way to stop our residents from moving to Portland. We’re bringing Portland to the people.”

When asked if she was concerned that she had just voted herself out of a job, Councilwoman Julie Anderson said that she looked forward to the Tacoma City Council becoming a strong Neighborhood Council rather than just disbanding altogether. She continued, “That said, it’s my duty to do what’s best for Tacoma, not for me. And merging Tacoma into Portland is the right thing to do.”

Reactions in Portland were mixed. Mayor Tom Potter said of the deal, “We certainly are interested in the proposal. Tacoma might make a delightful suburb to Portland. Like Lake Oswego or Tigard.” A Portland resident at Powell’s Bookstore worried, “I hope that means Portland won’t start to smell bad from I-5, too.”

An anonymous source at Portland City Hall told Exit133 that the proposal would likely be accepted, despite the potential image problem for the city and the logistics of merging across state lines. “I see a real benefit to Portland if for no other reason that all of these Tacomans will stop coming down here and bugging us about what they should be doing. It seems like every day some contingent of Tacoma businesses or government leaders or reporters comes to Portland to find out how we do things here. We spend so much time telling Tacoma how we do things, I’m not sure we’re actually spending any time getting anything done.”

Dan Voelpel, a columnist at The News Tribune (soon to be The Oregonian Tribune), wrote of the proposal: “This is right choice for Tacoma. I’m particularly happy because I will finally live in the same city as a McMenamins. Even if I have to go 143 miles south.”

If the deal goes through, you can expect this blog to keep up with the change. At the beginning of next year, you will be able to find me at Exit302B.com.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer.  Everything else is absolutely true.  Trust us.