The Problem With Tacoma ...

RR Anderson May 18, 2010

You know what the problem with Lost is? It’s not the Prisoner.

jamie from thriceallamerican May 18, 2010

Huh. I might buy one of those t-shirts they speak of in the article…

Jenyum May 18, 2010

Yes, I think they have misidentified their market. I’d totally have to buy one of those t-shirts.

dolly varden May 18, 2010

I’d like to see the city council pass a resolution that the problem with Tacoma is that we’re not in Canada. We could all get behind that one, right?

Morf morford May 19, 2010

The problem with Tacoma,
is that it rhymes with Arizona…

jamie from thriceallamerican May 19, 2010

Really, the problem with not just Tacoma, but also Seattle, Portland, both Vancouvers, Victoria, Bellingham, Bellevue, Eugene, etc., is that none of them are in the Republic of Cascadia. Now that would be an awesome country. I call for a resolution!

crenshaw sepulveda May 19, 2010

You have my vote for a nation of Cascadia. West of the Cascades from BC to SF.

dolly varden May 19, 2010

I agree with Jamie except for the Bellevue part.

jamie from thriceallamerican May 19, 2010

We gotta keep Wintergrass somehow, don’t we?

jp solyom May 20, 2010

Problem? More of an issue of artificially created ecosystems depending on declining limited resources. None of these have sufficient critical mass to ignite and become self sustaining.

Someone might want to map these ecosystems, identify the critical mass tipping point for each, and then apply the necessary tough love and nurturing to allow those ecosystems that best fit our habitat to ignite.

Kyle Alm May 21, 2010

The only problem with Tacoma is that we can’t vote in Seattle elections. Oh (snap) well.

Thorax O'Tool May 21, 2010

The problem with Tacoma is that the city has low self-esteem.

Bob the Bear May 21, 2010

Ahhhh even if Tacoma WAS in Canada we’d still be complaining about those people south of the border…

Squid May 22, 2010

Sometimes low self-esteem is deserved.

inacomaintacoma May 24, 2010

tacoma was burned twice this years on SNL season 35. and unless you live under a rock or in tacoma, you probably saw this. but i think it speaks volumes that everybody in the country except tacoma knows the problem with tacoma. the problem is its an eternal suck hole that smells like butt and is full of rejects who weren’t cool enough to make an impression on the nerve center of the NW in seattle, so they all settled and congregated in the rectum of the puget sound. it’s like a town full of the people who thought they were cool in high school but really weren’t. “get out while you’re still young and not addicted to alcohol: there’s a whole world out there” should be the new slogan of tacoma.

captiveyak May 24, 2010

Why should I be convinced Tacoma’s culture is somehow inferior to that of Seattle or any other so-called “successful city”? Seattle lost its uniqueness the moment an impractical focus became just as viable as a practical one. I don’t care what any “creative” tells me. Put some “art” hound from Seattle in front of me, and he/she will be completely indistinguishable in tastes and proclivities from any other NYT reader from here to friggin’ Newark. Seattle may as well be any other Banana Republic Prius magnet.

So, a pox on that hooey. There’s nothing desirable about it except for tax revenue and improved shopping. And there’s no guaranteeing a formula to achieve that anyway. Not that I’m some kind of grit-rag myself — i like my retro shoes. And I could be from Newark.

Tacoma’s actually INTERESTING. If you can’t see that, I feel bad for you.

I don’t think my vision of Tacoma is 100% accurate. I don’t think it’s the greatest City on the face of the earth. But I do believe that it’s a City that will never be handed a big break, and so it will have to make its own. You can’t consciously manufacture that kind of stuff. There’s no Friedmanesque path to creative viability.

There’s always room for a new paradigm for crying out loud. Theories are nice, but they never explain completely why one thing worked and another didn’t. Theories have the same shelf-lives as fashion trends, anyway.

inacomaintacoma May 24, 2010

thank god that theories don’t have the same shelf lives as fashion trends, or we probably would have never gotten anyone back from space that we shot into it. evidence supports theory. The evidence shows that tacoma is full of people who want destiny, but sort of underneath is all know it’s not going to happen hence try to mask all that with slogan’s like “here by choice’. seattle isn’t the greatest city in the world either, in fact cities are the reason civilizations fail. but i would rather fail in a sweet smelling prius magnet, than an open sewer smelling magnet for the blind to mediocrity. then again you would have to have traveled in your life to reference what is interesting about a place and what clearly is just a city throwing a bunch of stuff up and hoping something sticks. to each his own i guess. the one thing you can say about tacomaphiles is that they are loyal to each other, but all really have the same desires and narcissism as a hound from any other cosmopolitan place. the problem is, tacoma just isn’t in brooklyn or austin, so the intellectual geneflow just isn’t going to ever be ANYTHING worth boasting about, unless you are a complete idiot. but if you can see that, and somehow find that interesting or endearing, then tacoma is the place for you. it is true that potential is everywhere in and in every city, but anthropologically speaking, if you were a seeker of renaissance in 14th century italy, you wouldn’t move to bumfckd palermo, you’d live in florence. the problem is never going to be the location of tacoma in terms of the map of success it is on in comparison with seattle. the problem is, you can’t act like success is happening when there isn’t a shred of evidence, at least not to the outside world of peer review. you can make a statement like “tacoma is interesting” but like any thesis, if it doesn’t pass peer review, it must be rejected. last time i checked the studies did not put tacoma on the 10 most underrated cities of the US list. so fight hard tacoma, and always know that when you keep getting the bronze you can just get drunk and feel like gold.

Altered Chords May 24, 2010

I do not live under a rock. The problem w/ SNL is that it is not funny anymore and has not been funny in about 15 years.

inacomaintacoma May 25, 2010

it’s funny to the rest of the country or the ratings wouldn’t be as high as they’ve been in 15 years. nice try though. oh, but it must be because everyone in the country really has a crappy sense of humor except for you right? if being out of touch with reality was something you could bottle, you’d be a millionaire and buy the tacoma post office. biiitch pleeeze

You're Welcome May 25, 2010

When you’re old enough to move out of your Mommy’s place, please go!

inacomaintacoma May 25, 2010

oh you really burned me there.

next please.

Ah, I See May 25, 2010

Okay, inacomaintacoma… we got it. You don’t like Tacoma and, based solely on your handle, I’m assuming you don’t like the fact that you’re here. And I know the folly that comes with participating discussion with someone who’s here merely to troll.

If Tacoma is like a town, “full of the people who thought they were cool in high school but really weren’t” than I say fine — being that is, in my mind, far better than being the person who knocks books out of the hands of their classmates in a attempt to mask their own discomfort. But I digress.

You may not like this town, but many of us do. And both opinions are fine and both are valid — regardless of the outcome of a peer review or a meaningless top ten list or the ratings of a sketch comedy / television icon. You may not see the point of discussing what happens here, some of us do. Accept that, accept the differences.

Find something which brings you joy. Find a place, real or imagined, which will bring you happiness and a sense of belonging.

Mofo from the Hood May 25, 2010

Tacoma is Biblical. You can’t live by sight in Tacoma. You gotta live by faith. We’re all walkin’ a knife edge. I got no idea what’s gonna happen in the next ten seconds but man I just gotta stick around and see.

Now if you’re a walkin’ talkin’ sub-poverty level mofo like me then you just gotta love all the new white cement sidewalks all over downtown and along the green fields of Hilltop. Man the other day I even saw a yard sign put up by the City or Metro Parks that says “Walk, Bike, and (I think) Bus.” That sign was directed with pinpoint accuracy to the new economy f’er’s like me.

But here’s the thing. Times now are like in slow motion and mighty quiet around some parts, but it’s the anticipation for tomorrow that keeps some of us from catchin’ the next Greydog to Arkansas. Yeah, Arkansas. Arkansas is so bad that when my daddy came to Fort Lewis from Kentucky and met my mamma on a blind date, he told her he was from Arkansas. And furthermore he thought the folks here in Tacoma weren’t anywhere near as friendly as the folks back East. We’re all just waitin’ around in suspense for tomorrow. Like I said, Tacoma is Biblical. It’s the same now as it ever was.

Jesse May 25, 2010

“…in fact cities are the reason civilizations fail” —inacomaintacoma

Really? REALLY? Rethink this.

You’re right about Tacoma being an underachiever though. Compare it to other west coast cities and Tacoma has more problems than most.

However, those problems are deminishing quickly. Tacoma has largely all new/remodeled schools, every freeway has been rebuilt (or being rebuilt right now), and all statistics say Tacoma is primed to grow jobs and population faster than Seattle as a percent. Many acticles have been written about how Tacoma is the top place to invest or buy a house and the downtown is still adding construction projects despite our horrific economy… and if you think Tacoma still stinks from the paper mill, that’s a clue you’ve never lived here as that smell only happens now about 5 days a year.

RR Anderson May 25, 2010

inacomaintacoma hmm which tacoma booster is behind this colorful new sock puppet? How fun!

inacomaintacoma May 25, 2010

ok jesse i’ll first start with you

““…in fact cities are the reason civilizations fail” —inacomaintacoma

Really? REALLY? Rethink this.”

really. ever heard of tikal? i don’t really like it when uneducated people step to me. especially not the the great grandchildren of small pox spreading loggers and miners. why don’t you ask the puyallup tribe how the fking city of tacoma helped their civilization. and yes i have lived in the nw long enough to know the mill was really bad long ago. Downtown development you say? that is a delicious subject. I like mofo from the hoods insights. That dude is either serious, or the greatest drive by satire artist I have witnessed in a long time. But back to development, and the very crappy gentrification of the downtown condo’s that are just sitting there and making the place look worse that it already does. If it weren’t for the genius of the UWT campus, the downtown would have nothing. And that is why I fing hate this place. There is so much squandered potential its not even funny. Another problem with Tacoma is the people with really good ideas about how to develop this town, don’t have money. The people who do are complete idiots. The uwt campus is a goddamn stroke of genius. But at the same token, the programs they have there are totally void of culture cultivating substance. Its like that all over this place, something good, but not quite hitting the mark. Since I have lived here I have came across on holy of holys, and that is stadium video. The fact that they have a full shelf dedicated to the criterion collecting right there in the middle of the store by the check just says it all. It says that they know what the fk is up. But every time I rent from there, I see every copy sitting on that shelf. Never a single one rented out. And that too dear Tacoma, says it all about you. There just isn’t the cultural manpower to make this place the badass xanadu aka big middle finger to seattle that it should be. Instead all I see are things up and down 6th ave closing down.
@Ah, I see this place where you type things has been labeled a forum. What does the word forum mean to you. well, since you are into charaka masturbation or whatever that find a place crap is your talking about, you’ll probably not paying attention to designators. A forum is a place where crap gets argued. It’s a roman word, read a book. Or just read the description: exit133, about politics, civil involvement etc. so lets have a damn argument. And since its all anonymous, screw being civic. I thought this was the gritty city. But it’s reading more like the titty city.
I am not here to troll. But if knocking the book out of someones hand is the same as saying don’t say stupid stuff like “Here by choice” then guilty as charged. I probably did you a favor. Who in their right minds has to say something like I am here by choice to proclaim the reasoning behind what the hell they are doing here? Doesn’t that also kinda indicate or imply that you are also saying to people that you’re fully conscious of the fact this town is bootleg, but you just want them to know it’s a cognitive decision on your part to live a joke lifestyle? Damn if anything I love this town so much I don’t want to see it ruined by aging alcoholic poser punk rockers and pseudo cultural types that can’t make it in the big leagues, so they settle in Tacoma because the bar is low enough for them to masquerade. But they don’t fool me.

Thorax Z. O'Tool May 25, 2010

@ inacomaintacoma…

Arguing solves nothing.
I personally am so tired of everyone saying “we need X” or “why don’t we have Y”, yet no one does anything. No one does shit, and those few who try invariably either give up or go to Seattle or Portland. I’m tired of good ideas falling on deaf ears, I’m tired of what few good ideas I have never materializing beyond my own sphere of influence, and I’m tired of $100,000 studies done by the City only to be shelved for eternity somewhere in the archives.

I’ve lived in quite a few places over my life: Tacoma, Seattle, Lacey, Green Bay, Phoenix, Denver, Toledo (OH). Of them, I like Tacoma a LOT, but it seems to be second only to Toledo in apathy. Not enough people truly care. Many say they do, but when it comes to it, they are all talk.

Give me less talk and a lot more action.
What course of action do you suggest?

RR Anderson May 25, 2010

You know what the problem with Stadium (Stay-dumb huh) Video is?

seriously, is the leaky sewage pipes in the ceiling reeking havoc on those acoustic tiles… something is dripping in those buckets and it’s not movie magic.

Maybe in your gritty utopia of anti-phonies leaking sewer pipes is equal to or greater than a stage three ninja Scientology pay-to-play honorary doctorate… but in reality is anyone even interested in reading past the second paragraph? my magic 8 ball says: “my sources say no” perhaps someday mofo from the hood will get enough library computer time to enlighten us in a more condensed form. meanwhile back to drawing this stupid cartoon.

crenshaw sepulveda May 25, 2010

Ain’t nothing wrong with Tacoma that can’t be fixed if they’d just get a Trader Joe’s and a Whole Foods Market downtown. Build a big fancy condo above it and Tacoma will be set. Oh, and street cars, yeah, that’s the ticket. Have a street car that goes somewhere besides places people don’t want to go like the Tacoma Dome. Street car, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods Market. I got your $100k study right here.

captiveyak May 25, 2010

It’s endearing when such intense dislike inspires clever invective. Usually the critic is viewed as one who sees himself/herself as too intelligent to be satisfied with the object of his/her criticism; as if only intellectual slothfulness would permit contentment. This is certainly not the case here. It’s objective truth that optimism about Tacoma is foolhardy, or driven by ulterior motives. The most constructive way forward for the thoughtful Tacoman is to fold the arms and yawn with nuance.

But then I’ve only been here 3 years. Maybe someday my own authenticity will exceed my optimism. Until then, I’ll hope the stars in my eyes don’t interfere with my ability to drive.

Jesse May 25, 2010

@inacomaintacoma: Without cities there would have never been a bartering system and therefore there would have never been people who decided to specialize in certain things. That would negate the world of doctors, famine would be rampant everywhere, and you would likely be dead at 30 from disease or starvation. I could go on and on. So saying that cities are the worlds problem is uneducated and passive aggreasively insane.

“i don’t really like it when uneducated people step to me.”

I find some of the people on here funny sometimes as they think they’re smart because they use obscure words or bring up tidbits of history to make themselves feel smarter than the rest. Everyone knows obscure information about something or another. I could take my time writing here, bust out my thesaurus and google strange and obscure facts all day… but that’s it… I don’t have all day.

PS- I hold three degrees from a Pac-10 university and hold a job that one person out of a thousand resume’s lands. How about you?

captiveyak May 25, 2010

i think we need someone to put a funny picture in this thread right now. RR? Got anything?

Or maybe we should just bring up something we can all agree on: Quiche and frittata. I say let ‘em duke it out in a egg-pie death match until one is eliminated. I’m sick of having two kinds of egg-pie varieties.

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

Coma
Stuck in Tacoma
I hate life

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

Time Stamp
No daylight savings
Like AZ?

DavidS May 25, 2010

Interesting how people smarter than everyone else can be so unhappy. If I were the world’s smartest person, I’d at least hope I could figure out how to live somewhere I wanted to be. But then maybe nowhere would be good enough for me.

Related note: Can someone explain wth does Tikal show about cities causing civilizations to fail? (Didn’t Tikal fall about 500yrs before the end of the Mayans?) Is the writer suggesting because the Mayan civilization developed to the point of cities they collapsed – not war, disease, drought, or the inability of technology to keep pace? Seems like there are numerous cultures that have collapsed without cities too. However, the majority surviving seem to have cities. Evidence would suggest the opposite is true: for a civilization to survive, it needs centers of commerce and population.

Squid May 25, 2010

I KNEW this thread would turn to food sooner or later. Everything does, eventually. Stuff happens, food grows out of it.

Heck with quiche and frittatas. Sandwiches anyone?

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

Corned Beef
Now that’s a sandwich.
On rye please.

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

The only real problem with Tacoma is that you can not get a real deli style piled high corned beef or pastrami sandwich.

Don’t tell me to “check out” MSM. They’ve never been to the east coast.

If inacomaintacoma could get a piled high hot corned beef on rye with russian dressing and cole slaw, then his posts would be filled with love for Tacoma.

dolly varden May 25, 2010

I think DavidS came up with our new slogan/bumper sticker.

Tacoma: Nowhere is good enough for me.

inacomaintacoma May 25, 2010

@rr anderson

on the subject of stadium. who said anything about leaky pipes? what do pipes have to do with what i pointed out about stadiums seemingly strategically placing of the criterion collection? yes lets distract from the subject with a big fat red herring. or do you not know what a red herring is? maybe you should put down the magic 8 ball and pick up a book.

@jesse

i think in your case, 3 degrees wasn’t enough.

@davids

i reject that the opposite is true. mainly because you can’t provide a valid example to support your argument. What is an observable fact is that cities drain the resources out of other places until those place are void of resources. But I will let you struggle on the math of that and what the conclusions are. I suggest though you read more history.

for the rest of you who are totally missing the point. i wish you luck.

back to you mofo from the hood

Andrew May 25, 2010

I would’ve commented earlier, but I went into my own coma caused by the praising of the Criterion Collection and the lambasting of psuedo-cultural types in the same post.

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

So the city of Tacoma is draining the resources out of Seattle!

One more reason I love Tacoma.

Jesse needs a proctology degree in order to better relate to coma.

RR Anderson May 25, 2010

Perhaps the criterion collection strategic location was based on it’s drip-free grey-water real-estate… just sayin.

Anyhow, The Braindead Megaphone by George Saunders was a pretty good book.

Thorax Z O'Tool May 25, 2010

@ inacomaintacoma

Words mean jack unless they’re backed up with action. What do you suggest as the proper course of action?

I’m still waiting…

Mofo from the Hood May 25, 2010

You don’t have to be book smart to live in Tacoma. You just need to have an opinion about sports, women, and cars.

Andrew Fry May 25, 2010

I love Daffodil parades, sky blue in different shades, long noisy trains, and rain
I love hidden coffee shops, glass museum stops, Thea’s waterway,
And artists who complain,
And I love Tacoma too

I love the Grand Stairwell in the Spring, Frost Park chalking , the Port of Tacoma, and no aroma
I love bands without the posers, Roller Derby posters, Tequila flights at the Matador, and Rhubarb,
and I love Tacoma too

I love a twelve minute commutes, new and old theater troupes, small local Weekly’s, and Suite133
I love large wooden domes, blogging garden gnomes, Point Defiance Park, and the Criterion Collection
And I love Tacoma too

(Apologies to Don Williams)

Altered Chords May 25, 2010

at Fry:
That is not Taiku.
But it’s great.

rick May 25, 2010

Oh, I like this inacomaintacoma cat. Derek, I think you should recruit this person and team them with Daniel Rahe to produce a point/counterpoint of sorts.

What a fun thread to read! My favorite author, and by favorite I mean most unitentionally amusing author is, once again, TO’T, who wrote @27 above, “I personally am so tired of everyone saying “we need X” or “why don’t we have Y”, yet no one does anything. No one does shit… Give me less talk and a lot more action.” and 20 minutes later proceeded over to the “Throw you a fish” post and produces a list of we need x and why don’t we have y”… I’ll reserve judgement on TO’Ts personal action on that list, or lack thereof… but I have a hunch.

inacomaintacoma May 25, 2010

@andrew

i did not praise the criterion collection. i praised stadium having it, and having almost every copy, and putting those copies right up front. but like so many here in tacoma, their asses are mostly turned towards the good stuff. now what the fk does that have to do with pseudo-cultural types?? please if you’re going to comment on my sht, be able to read words and interpret things like syntax. from what i gather you are thus calling the folks at stadium pseudo-cultural for making such a placement of the criterion collection? you’re an idiot.

@Thorax

plan of action. simple. yearly a NXNW festival in Tacoma only, coniciding with some media fair, and the tacoma film festival. and the dome, and take a big sht on austin and seattle at the same time. i can’t believe a bunch of hicks from texas are handing the NW’s ass to it. the NW literally would destroy with a North By North West festival. the city of tacoma could chew on somthing like that for the entire year. but instead we get aging drunk poser rock a billies and loud boring music in the park. where has the music gone in this town? is it all just get drunk to music? that’s nothing to boast about. that crap is sad. it was sad when kurt cobain was the only honest person and musician around, and it’s still sad today. oh well, as long as japanese fans still buy zeke, plasterds and neutral boy crap off itunes everything is fine. it just strikes me that this town needs a big horse suppository of culture and a NXNW festival is just the thing. don’t worry, tacoma, they will serve beer there.

You're Welcome May 25, 2010

Hey Man, you make a NxNW Festival happen and I’m there.

(By the way, I did have to “Google” NxNW to find out what it means. But, I am from Tacoma after all)

Mr. Niceguy May 25, 2010

Please man, for the love of Pete. It’s called a Shift key.
There are two of them on either side of your keyboard.
They usually get pressed after a period or on the first letter of a proper noun. Warm up those pinkies and get to pressing.

Thorax Z O'Tool May 25, 2010

@ Rick:

I have no idea how to go about getting BASE jumping from the Narrows to be legal, but I do have two projects that I am currently working on. One of them is called “LOVE:Tacoma”. The other is still under wraps for the time being.
More on these soon………

@inacomaintacoma

pretty slick idea. How does one go about starting it?

Tacoma Joe May 25, 2010

Ditto, Mr. NiceGuy. I was going to point out the “enter” key, used to separate sentences into logical or lyrical groupings known as paragraphs…

RR Anderson May 25, 2010

@53 look he’s trying to disguise his typing even more now. ha ha ha.

crenshaw sepulveda May 26, 2010

I knew Aaron Trotter couldn’t stay away.

inacomaintacoma May 26, 2010

@mr niceguy, tacoma joe

if only i was a skilled a typist as you two bozo’s are at smug little ad hominim jabs. yawn.

@ Thorax

easy, just ask the clown that keeps spending money on dumb things like post offices and ferries to front some capital for a NXNW project for the good people of tacoma whos typing skills are the envy of the world. wow, brain hurricane, at nxnw there should be a typing stand moderated by smug fks who want to sit around and make sure the shift and enter keys are pushed when people come in to type at the nxnw “typing properly is so rad” booth. drrr

Mike May 26, 2010

This thread makes me want to move to Roy.

inacomaintacoma May 26, 2010

@captivatingpuddleofyak

so portland is doing a bad job? it’s like all these dumb loggers can come up with are sasquatch or squidstock festivals. why would you pay money to be an internet slut when you can just do it on facebook for free?

2Phat McClure May 26, 2010

Sorry homes, the NXNW sounds kinda ghetto for my own personal taste.
I’d rather stay at home. But that’s just me.

Squid May 26, 2010

Squidstock? Radical.

tressie May 26, 2010

I now feel so small because I typed P0rn the other day.
I need to up my “crazy” internetz game around here.
Hey, Derek, I am really sorry I didn’t have my camera with me as I passed the big electrical “Exit 133 Closed May xx…” sign the other day…
I thought maybe it would give you a 3 second giggle.

61 comments