September 21, 2010 · · archive: txp/article

We're Number Three! Sending A Message to Spokane

It’s a narrow gap, but we’re still #3. The State’s Office of Financial Management released city population numbers two weeks ago ranking Tacoma, once again, third behind Seattle and Spokane. Spokane, just to be clear, is a mere 2,273 people ahead of Tacoma. Still, it’s larger.

Not content to enjoy the more populous position, the Spokesman-Review’s Doug Clark decided to rub salt in Tacoma’s wound, and sent our fine City Councilmembers a little “care package.” The card reads, “Dear Tacoma: Eat my Dust! Respectfully yours, Spokane.” The contents of the package, as described by Mr. Clark, are as follows:

So far, my Spokane Gloat Box includes:

  • An autographed “spokesman.com” baseball cap that I bummed from my pal in our newspaper marketing department.
  • A vintage Expo ’74 Viewmaster. A reader gave me this a while back. The Viewmaster includes 3-D photo wheels of our famous world’s fair, which oughta show the Tacoma council just how vibrant and exciting the Lilac City was – 36 years ago.
  • A CD copy of my “Spokane” song. Why our City Council hasn’t adopted this as our official anthem beats the heck out of me, although it could have something to do with the “sex offender” and “meth lab” references.
  • A Spokane Regional Visitor’s Guide. Not just colorful photographs and information, but a powerful sleep aid, too.
  • Plus a number of Spokane giveaway souvenirs from our Convention and Visitors Bureau, such as: A Clocktower postcard, a Spokane map, a few inedible candies and a “Near Nature/Near Perfect” lapel pin for each Tacoma council member to wear during meetings.

Councilmember Marty Campbell brought up this challenge in today’s City Council Study Session and began to list off the things that would be sent back over the mountains to Mr. Clark in friendly retaliation. Mr. Campbell gave us this list of what we are sending:

  • A card with a vintage picture of a woman next to a sign reading “Entering Tacoma, population 139,000. Then written inside the card: “Congratulations on being #2. May birthrate and annexation continue to shine favorably upon your city. Tacoma”

  • Tacoma coffee mug
  • City of Tacoma “Sun catcher”
  • City of Tacoma lapel pins
  • A Downtown Tacoma Storybook from the city of destiny
  • A sampling of Almond Roca
  • Tacoma Rainiers baseball cap
  • A sample bag of ‘Tagro’
  • 2 “I (heart) Tagro” bumper stickers

Is there anything else you’d want to include?

Link to Spokesman.com

Filed under: General

28 comments

  • Jesse September 22, 2010

    Dale Chihuly’s glass eyeball. Perhaps that whore can open a museum there too.

  • RR Anderson September 22, 2010

    Why a copy of my book (available this November) A Patriot’s History of Tacomics 2007 – 2009 pre-order your copy today!

  • dolly varden September 22, 2010

    Isn’t Ruston insolvent? How can we not have annexed that town? (Not that their population of 800 or whatever would quite get us to #2.)

  • jamie from thriceallamerican September 22, 2010

    I wonder if the “indedible candies” are Spokandy…I got some of that as a gift once and that shit is nasty. Spokane should annex Cashmere just so they can have a candy that sucks less.

  • Weyland Duir September 22, 2010

    What is so wrong about being #3? The numeral 3 represents a completeness and integration. Let’s just celebrate Tacoma and forget about Seattle and Spokane

  • tom waits September 22, 2010

    maybe we could send them some of our recently release sex offenders.

  • Nick September 22, 2010

    Eh, who cares? I get that it’s supposed to be in a friendly “teasing” tone, and yet it seems to be the only formal/publicly visible discourse between T-town and Spokompton.

    But hey, it’s gotta say something for Tacoma to have the population it does with a larger ahem employer-sucking and population-sapping city just 30 miles away… just sayin’ …

  • Thorax O'Tool September 22, 2010

    Did you know that Parkland (27,000) and Spanaway (23,000) are both unincorporated Pierce County? Did you furter know the City of Tacoma and it’s utilities provide most services to those areas?

    If we really want to be #2, why hasn’t the City done something about 50,000 people (and 16 sq miles) just to the south that aren’t legally but are functionally part of Tacoma?

    Let’s not forget Midland, Browns Point, Dash Point. Those places rely entirely on Tacoma for services… they’d add another 10,000

    Of course, I do have to ask:
    Isn’t it better financially for the city to have these communities that it supports (but doesn’t have tax authority over) to be a part of the city itself?

  • Thorax O'Tool September 22, 2010

    Incidentally, if Puyallup annexed South Hill, P-town would have nearly 70,000 residents. That would make them #11 rather than #25.
    …just sayin’

  • captiveyak September 22, 2010

    In Seattle, you go out and have a beer because your neighbor with the ironic moustache and bowler hat is playing a kazoo concerto at The Crocodile Cafe – and the beer might help you pretend you’re already “over” kazoo concertos.

    In Spokane, you go out and have a beer because you live in Spokane.

    In Tacoma, you go out and have a beer because life is pretty good and you might see a few people you know.

    This is a better measure of a city’s value than population. And that’s saying a lot — because “why you go out for a beer” is also a crappy way of measuring a city’s value.

  • j feste September 22, 2010

    Spokane lost AAA baseball years ago. Its ability to stay ahead of Tacoma population-wise has hinged on a wild annexation binge, a momentum stopped to the east with the creation of the City of Spokane Valley. Yet locally, Tacoma provides public utilities to a University Place that is sales-tax broke but independent to have eschewed the City of Destiny. Tacoma could temporarily smash Spokane with some city council action to annex Browns and Dash points, communities already served by MetroParks and the Tacoma School District. Yet Federal Way government has also coveted those points, which would make it a two-county city. So, if Spokane could beat Tacoma with the Indian Trail area annexation, will the council here make Browns and Dash points part of the City of Destiny? Tacoma’s council should also send some elephant ZooDoo (well-meaning of course) for Spokane’s Duncan Gardens at Manito Park—the Lilac City is one of the largest communities in the nation without a zoo, unless you count West Central Spokane’s “felony flats” area.

  • tom waits September 22, 2010

    One thing that struck me was that our box of items seems less creative, less kitschy…a coffee mug?

    How about some old Coke bottles from the centennial? A print of the rejected Warhol proposal for the Tacoma Dome? An old Mat Classic flyer from the state wrestling championship? Something moderately creepy from the B&I? Goodwill Games souvenirs? Some Johnny’s seasoning salt? You know, weird stuff no one would want or better yet, stuff that no one knows they do want.

  • offbroadway September 23, 2010

    Good suggestions by Tom. Umm… The Jive is our of bumper stickers, but they still have frisbees. And surely Alan still has some Bing Crosby ice cream boxes. Don’t forget one of MacGougan’s books that he told me he slaved so laboriously on. Maybe a Tacoma bus token. If they really wanted to rub it in, they would have sent a postcard of the Davenport. At least their GN clocktower keeps time, instead of only twice a day like ours.

  • offbroadway September 23, 2010

    Hey, still have some “Most Wired City” paraphernalia?

  • Tim Smith September 23, 2010

    I wonder if they count the forgotton souls at the NWDC and Pierce County Jail. With (as of yesterday) 1502 at the NWDC and roughly 800 at the jail clearly we have more residents.

    The Tacoma Historical Society is just about to go to print with “Tacoma’s Twenty-One Tales
    Every Student Should
    Be Able To Tell”…that would be nice.

  • RR Anderson September 23, 2010

    send them the Kalakala… like dropped from the belly of a C-5 Galaxy

  • jamie from thriceallamerican September 23, 2010

    offbroadway has a good point in there, we should totally up the ante on the Bing Crosby thing given that both towns claim him as “their own”…

  • Squid September 23, 2010

    Yeah, coffee mug, that’s lame-o.

    I like the Kalakala idea…

    I have a broken tee from the US Amateurs at Chambers Bay…oh wait, that’s UP. Nevermind.

    Syringe from near the Big Toy at Wright Park?

    I hear the Goddess of Commerce statue is up for grabs.

    In a couple of months we’ll have a bunch of parking pay stations to give them…

  • Rick Jones September 23, 2010

    Squid: Goddess of Commerce is not up for grabs. It will be installed at the intersection of St Helens, 6th and Baker under the cottonwood tree on the lot that Mandarin Antiques is on.

  • RR Anderson September 23, 2010

    @19 When!?

  • Squid September 23, 2010

    Then I have hope for the Kalakala.

  • Jesse September 24, 2010

    Send them thier new city slogan: “Spokane: We certainly are number two!”

    That means do-do.

  • Rick Jones September 24, 2010

    RR: It’s a long process but inside a year.

  • crenshaw sepulveda September 24, 2010

    Maybe she’ll be renamed as the Goddess of Baking if she’s going to be on Baker Street.

  • tom waits September 24, 2010

    how about Half-Baked Goddess?

  • PointDexter September 26, 2010

    We.can.help.the.Spokaniacs.sustain.their. #2.status:

    Special.deliver.Tacoma.Rail.boxcars.packed.with.our.DOC.alumni.

  • Marty C September 27, 2010

    Spokane has recived out gift.

    Marty,
    Oh. My. Gawd.
    Your email came a tad late.
    I opened the box this morning at my desk.
    Oh, look, I said. They sent me some coffee.
    I opened the zip-locked bag, took a whiff..
    Ahhrrrgggg.
    The council sent me %#$$!!!
    Good one, Marty.
    Doug

  • a.k.a. offbroadway September 29, 2010

    Glad I could contribute.