Winter Weather Means We're # Two... in 9 Months

Cold temperatures, impassable road conditions, and a little bit of the birds and the bees will make Tacoma the second largest city in Washington … come July of next year.

Spokane currently holds the title, with 201,600 residents, 2,000 residents more than Tacoma has (according to Washington State estimates).

“We expect that the snow kept a lot of people home Tuesday and Wednesday,” said Tacoma Mayor Bill Baarsma. “I don’t think it’s too much to hope that at least 2,000 Tacoma couples decided to do their part to help us beat our long-time rival.” Baarsma went on, “Had we expected the storm, we might have even made a direct plea to residents to do what they can to support the cause.”

The population battle between Spokane and Tacoma has been long-fought. In some years, US Census estimates have differed from official Washington State estimates, creating confusion about which city is truly second largest. It is expected that by the 2010 Census Tacoma will be larger than Spokane in all estimates, thanks to its faster growth rate.

Baarsma hopes to surpass Spokane’s population sooner than that. “Population estimates usually come out in the spring, but our baby boom isn’t expected until late July of 2007. We’ve petitioned the state Office of Financial Management to hold off their population estimate for Tacoma until August to account for the expected population increase.”

Spokane Mayor Dennis Hession said he was “disgusted” with Tacoma’s “underhanded” request, but confessed that Spokane would pursue policies to boost their population by August. His new “population-building policies” include a 7:00 pm curfew for all married couples and an immediate stop to snowplow services in December. Asked if Spokane would add more measures later, Hession confirmed, “We’ll consider any option that makes people stay home.”

Councilmember Tom Stenger expressed his hope that Tacoma could also institute some new policies to ensure a population victory next year. He recommended tax incentives to telecommuters and suggested an advertising campaign encouraging Tacoma consumers to “avoid the rush and shop Amazon from home.” His suggestions were met with wide disapproval from the Downtown Merchants Group and the Tacoma Mall.

We at Exit133 would like to be the first to welcome Tacoma’s newest residents. They will make for a very merry Christmas next year, as it will be because of them that we can shout “We’re Number Two! We’re Number Two! We’re Number Two!”

All we need now is a really big snowfall in January and we might be able to take on Seattle by the end of the year.

Disclaimer: We may occasionally stretch the truth or make things up on Fridays… but only when there’s a disclaimer. Everything else is absolutely true. Trust us.